Futurama Pornography Story: Rush Moon Chapter 26

Futurama Pornography Story: Rush Moon Chapter 26

Static on a TV
screen. Then words:

Congratulations!
Your brain has just rebooted! When you wake up, youll be hungry.
Remember, only Thompsons Teeth gives you the mega-calcium you need
to help that nerve re-mylenation. Thompsons Teeth. Helping you
get a-head!

Note: you have
been automatically subscribed to this dream service because our New
New York EEG sensors have detected a sudden change in sentience.
Occasionally we pass your EEG pattern to reliable third party dream
vendors who may offer products of interest to you. If you do not
wish to receive these dream offers, please think
gorilla-ballerina-litter box-apple saucethree times in a
row, now, to unsubscribe.

Then static once
more.

He sat in a small
room crammed with DVDs and old pizza boxes, watching a small TV. The
only light in the room was the amber glow of the screen, casting an
unhealthy pallor on his blank, unblinking face

A gentle tone
reached his ears, fading away like a sunset over a desert

He was standing
outside a one-room house in the middle of the plain. Except it now
looked like a desert

He walked for what
seemed to be days, but he had no sense of time

He walked down what
now seemed to be a street, but a street piled with rubble amidst what
appeared to be an abandoned city

He saw a building
next to a river, and knew answers lay there

Disappointed,
expecting more, he climbed the stairs and saw a conference table.
Here was where he needed to be, the end of all paths. He stood and
tried to find meaning in the breeze, in the gray beams of light
punching through the holes in the ceiling. And the silence was
complete. No sound, no life, no hope

And then he saw a
glimmer in the rubble underneath one of the beams. For the first
time, amidst all the grays and blacks around him, he saw something in
color. It was a pipe with a bulb attached to the end of it.

First the tone, then
the tempo, then the tune

And as wisps of
white smoke whirled around the crouched figure, it stood up and he
could see a cloud of purple billowing around the head. The figure
turned around.

And she opened her
eye

He opened his eyes, and
wanted to scratch himself in a place that needed some scratching, but
froze as he found himself looking at his distorted reflection in the
hull, and felt stairs pressing into his back.

He remembered. Another
epifanny. This was really going to hurt.

They tried to wipe
away your mind,
he silently told the red-headed boy staring back,
an uncharacteristically thoughtful look on his face . I think
they just wanted to erase your holophoner memories, but you fought
it, you hid in your family memories, and so then they tried to erase
my memories of Leela.
Leela, the reason why he had fought so
hard to remember the holophoner in the first place. Some of the
greatest memories of his life clung around her smile when he played
that instrument.

He heard some distant
shouting and a strong murmur filling the hangar, but he couldnt
tear himself away from his own reflection.

They tried to take
Leela, but you fought even harder, kept finding her again in the sad
memories, the ones that are hard to forget. Joy fades, pain endures.
They had to rip out entire chunks of my mind to find us, but I still
kept her and kept hiding, deeper.

And finally, they had
to destroy everythingAmy, Bender, every continent, every planet
visited, his entire past. And even then, once they had finally found
Leela, they still never found the holophoner. Somehow he had
managed to sink it away into the dark recesses of his mind, as
somehow Somehow you were able to wipe your own mind instead,
leaving no trail to follow.

And then they must have
given up, and left him alone. Did they ever try to put new
memories in you?
He thought to his reflection. Must not of
worked, if they did. And somehow, you were able to remember the
holophoner again. And from the holophoner, you were able to remember
Leela. And from Leela-you were able to remember everything.

He felt ice in his
stomach, along with the headache in his head. He had come close to
being killed many times before; in fact, it was part of his daily
job. He had even nearly had his lower horn chopped off to make
some alien aphrodisiac.

And yetthere was
something about having his personality erased, which made him feel
all unnervy inside. To think he could look the same on the outside,
but what made him him on the inside could be scraped awaythere was
something very cold, very personal, very terrifying about that. He
was only slightly less weirded out by the thought that he had been
able to reconstruct most of his memories and personality by simply
remembering Leela. He hadnt understood how much of her had become
a part of him, until now.

And who had done this?
Impressions, images, were fading fast, like trying to recall a dream
upon waking up. He had seen something behind the Eye. And he hadnt
expected it. But it kept slipping away. But he still remembered the
rage, the fury of those last moments–.

He blinked and risked
moving his head a little, breaking away from his reflection, enough
to see Leela crouched next to his waist, hands raised by her head,
eye closed, hauntingly similar to the last image in his memory/dream

Did they mess with
your mind too? Did they try to make you forget about me? You didnt
try very hard, did you?

The residual anger from
his recovered memory settled onto her. He had let them destroy his
mind rather than betray his memories of her. While she–

You let them feed
you whatever they wanted you to think. You let them twist your mind
and who you were until only the ugly parts of you were left.

He couldnt put it
into words, but he was more than disappointed. It was a little like
when he had first learned what the true ingredient of Slurm was. How
something you trusted, an anchor in your existence, could turn out to
be neither trustworthy or constant.

I always thought you
were strong. Stronger than me. I thought you knew me. You should
have had a little more faith in me.

He must have moved
slightly, or perhaps his breathing altered slightly, because Leela
frowned and started to open her eye.

Without thinking, he
impulsively lifted his leg and shoved her, hard, in the chest.

Normally, Leela was as
lithe as a cat, but brooding on her own thoughts, she had been caught
off guard, and fell into a backwards somersault, vanishing over the
end of the gangway. It was probably a good
thing, since his foot felt like he had just kicked a wall.

BENDER! he
croaked, suddenly aware of the silence that had fallen over the
entire hanger. RAMP! He sat up and got on his haunches,
scrambling toward the edge of the ramp to check that Leela was OK.
He had only a moment to see dozens of masked helmets turn his way,
before he was distracted by Leela, who was hanging by one hand from
the edge of the ramp, twelve feet above the hangar floor. She was
already beginning to swing her body, preparing to flip back onto the
ramp.

His anger was already
fading. He just wasnt built for sustained hatred. Took too much
energy. And he couldnt be mad at her, especially if she had been
changed. Both last night, and just now, she had tried to look past
the fake feelings implanted inside her, and had tried to talk with
him, to understand what was happening. Who knows, maybe if they had
just had a little more time

The first laser beam
flickered past his head, ruining the perfect polish of the hull above
him. At the same moment, the gangway began to retract back up again.
Bender must have heard him. Fry and Leela stared at each other, and
he saw her eye widen as she realized what he was going to do a moment
before he did. Both seemed to realize that from now on, there was no
turning back.

I love you, Leela,
he said.

He probably could have
chosen a better time to say that.

Then he jammed his foot
down on her hand as hard as he could, looking askance as he did it.
Maybe if he didnt look while doing it, she wouldnt hate him so
much?

He couldnt close his
ears though. He had not anticipated the adrenaline rushing through
his muscles, and he had stamped much harder than he had intended.
How could such a little bone make such a big noise when it broke? He
heard a little gasp of pain, and then she was falling, grasping her
broken fingers, flailing as her ankle hit the ground at a bad angle.
He saw the boot twist a little more than an ankle should, and she
fell on her back, hitting her head hard.

Snatching the
holophoner from the gangway, Fry ducked down just in time as the
gangway retracted completely, then ducked out of the hatchway just as
a flurry of laser beams pockmarked the opposite wall of the entry
room. The hatch slammed shut, and the sound of the weaponry
impacting the hull was muted, sounding like a gentle rain hitting the
roof of a house.

He didnt feel safe
at all. He felt sick. Three feet of polygraphatic hull between him
and Leela felt no safer than tissue paper. He wouldnt feel safe
until he was parsecs away. He kinda doubted hed feel safe ever
again. But at the same time, he hoped she was OK.

A few moments later he
burst onto the bridge, looking for Bender, but stopped short as the
co-pilots chair swiveled around, revealing a mysterious,
unfamiliar figure.

Wh-who are you?
he stammered, breathless.

Scruffy. Scruffy
the janitor, the stranger said, sounding bored. He dropped his
eyes down to the latest edition of Gears Gone Wild.

Geez, Fry, do I have
to draw a map for you?

Fry whirled around and
saw Bender pimpwalk onto the bridge, obviously in a great mood.

The cash is stowed
away, and boy do I feel several tons lighter, the robot mused.
Actually, I guess I really am several tons lighter-

Bender, whos this
guy?

Bender appraised
Scruffy, scratching his chin suspiciously. Then he lit up.

A hostage. We were
only able to take $2.3 billion out of the $2.7, and maybe I can use
this guy to make up some of my loss.

We cant takeaw
nuts. Lets just get outta here.

Whats the rush,
meatbag? This is one of the safest places on the planet here,
said the robot, casually making an obscene gesture to the SWAT team
clustered around the conference table, firing over the guard railing
at the ships windshield. Ive locked everything down. He
waved at Amy and Hermes, huddled face down on the conference level
deck outside. And there was Nibbler, huddled under the table. Huh,
the little guy must be feeling better. The last time he had seen him
was just after he had crashed the hovertruck into the building a
little while ago, and Nibbler had been barely conscious.

Leela-

-can bite my shiny,
metal a-

But now Fry spotted
Leela through the windshield. She had limped up the stairwell to the
conference level, ignoring the laser shots flying around her. Barely
sparing a glance over her shoulder at the PE ship, she had reached a
ladder mounted on the hanger wall, and had just started to climb up
toward a mobile crane mounted on the roof.

Heh, heh, heh,
whats she trying ta do, lift us up? chortled the bending unit,
leaning back into a convenient chair, and pulling out a Zuban,
reserved especially for just a chortling occasion like this.

Fry didnt fell
nearly as sanguine, and watched his former captain painfully pull
herself up the rungs toward the crane.

Bender dropped the
Zuban to the floor. Fry turned, and saw and his friends eyes
telescope out. Fry followed his gaze.

Dangling from the crane
was a chain that slacked down onto the conference room floor.
Somehow, when they hadnt been looking, Leela had attached the end
of the chain to something.

Nibblers litter box.

Leela was a very tidy
person, Fry knew, but somehow it still seemed a little strange that
she was picking this time to clean Nibblers litter box, with all
the laser fire going on and all. He also would have thought that
sweeping up the mess on the floor and moving the hovertruck out of
the kitchenette would have been higher priorities. Still, he didnt
know much about cleaning house, and she really did care for the
little guy

Milliseconds later
Bender grabbed Fry by the lapels of his well-worn red jacket.

While(STATUS==PANIC)

{

.speakln(FlyFry);

}

FlyFryFlyFryFlyFryFly

WhaI thought we
were OK here!

The space rat craps
out dark matter! That stuff can break through anything! Even this
windshield!

You mean-Nibblers
gonna throw his poop at us?

Bender groaned.
Dammit, organ bank. The crane lifts the poop, then she runs it
into us. We cant fly with a big hole in our side. Fry stared
blankly at him. Look, do I hafta draw a picture for ya?!

Thirty seconds later
Fry looked up from a bunch of sketches etched on a few dirty napkins,
and the back page of Gears gone Wild.

Look Bendershes
lifted up the litter box and its moving toward us! Just like in
this picture here! That means that shes gonna- he looked at
the next sketch in the sequence, paled, and tried to grab Bender by
the lapels, before realizing he didnt have any. Lets get
outta here!

I forget, Bender
said, how do ya start this thing?

The robot fell over as
Fry slapped down a large red button, and the engines roared to life,
sending a large shudder down the vessel before the inertial dampers
could respond.

OK, that was simple
enough, thought Fry. It had helped that the button had had a large
label START ENGINES right above it. But now what? Hed done
this a few times before. Grab the control stick, then pull back

Dozens of figures
dashed for cover as the PE Ship lifted vertically off the ground
under perfect control, then smashed into the hangar roof, and then
fell to the floor with a resounding crash.

Dazed, Fry lifted
himself off the bridge floor.

Heh, yeah. Forgot
to open the hangar roof hatches.

Damn, said
Bender, the Professor must have really strengthened those things
since our last joyride.

The bridge door slid
open and Zoidberg wandered in, owl feathers drifting away from his
mouth.

My good friends Fry,
Bender, and Scruffy! Are we about to leave on a great adventure? Oh
look! Leela is coming too!

The new PE crew could
see the crane and the roof structure groan under the strain as the
little litter box, suspended just an inch off the ground, glided
closer to them.

OK, Fry, Bender
said, open the doors and lets get outta here.

Um, Bender, wheres
the button to open them?

The two friends looked
at each other blankly for a moment, then started frantically pressing
every button or switch that looked remotely practical.

Hey janitor hostage
guy, do you know

Scruffy knows that
one switch for the roof hatches is outside, right there by the wall
by the cops

Oh no, thought Fry,
were trapped. And the little bundle of dark matter had now glided
past the conference table, straining down against the groaning
gantry, making a beeline for the PE cabin.

Then Fry realized there
was another ship system he knew by heart. Seconds later, he was
scrambling up the entryway into the gunnery chamber. He jammed the
chamber swivel controls hard to the right, and the gun began to
rotate horizontally as he adjusted the gun barrel elevation to point
to the roof.

He glanced through a
window and found he had a clear view of the roof crane trundling
toward the ship. His eye accidentally met Leelas, and even though
they were fifty feet away, he could see her eye flick toward the
ceiling, then the gun, and then widen.

The first shot from the
laser cannon ricocheted from the hangar roof and took out part of the
wall to the offices and Farnsworths lab. The roof doors hadnt
opened, but they now looked like Fry did after a night on the town
with Bender. Fry had faith. He knew Farnsworth was much more
enthusiastic about offensive weapon systems than Xmas defenses.

The second blast
flipped the two ton doors into the vivid blue sky, where they twirled
in the air gracefully, looking like large gray butterflies. Then
they knocked a few police hovercraft out of the air and crashed down
into the streets flanking the building, crushing empty police cars in
a way that butterflies dont.

The remainder of the
roof was no longer stable, and the section above the mobile crane
could no longer bear the several ton pull of the dark matter. Hands
pressed white against the gunnery window, Fry watched as Leela leapt
out of the crane, just before the entire thing detached from the
roof, plunging to the floor, the litter box slightly clipping the PE
ships nose on its way through the floor. The ship shook as the
remainder of the roof crashed down around them, burying the floor in
debris a few feet thick, and jetting plumes of dust and metal flakes
into the air, blurring out his view of the outside world. He
strained, but couldnt see Leela, or anyone else. He desperately
hoped she was OK.

As he started to climb
back down into the hull, Fry thought he caught a glimpse of Nibbler,
clinging to one of the beams on the walls. It must have been his
imagining, because it looked like the little guy was waving at him,
trying to get his attention.

The ship began to
vibrate as the engines activated once again. Fry slid/stumbled back
onto the bridge as Bender jerked the control rod back, and the PE
ship drunkenly ascended through the roof, knocking away the last
stray bits of the roof structure.

Ah, pleasant
memories of stealing the ship, sighed Bender.

Memories, all right,
thought Fry. The laser cannon and kinetic projectile weapons
bombarding their tail from the surrounding street were eerily
reminiscent of the first time he had flown in this ship on Jan. 1,
3000.

Bender let go of the
control rod to adjust his cigar. Fry dashed forward to grab the rod
and keep the ship from lurching.

The PE ship was now
nearly vertical, dashing through the atmospheric layers like a dog
finally released from a leash.

Doofus DOOP ships
coming in from the side, Bender murmured, unworried. The PE ship
was the most overpowered ship in the quadrant.

They punched through
the Van Allen belts, and then the lesser known Van Halen belts,
recently named in honor of the famous rock musician/amateur
astronomer.

What now, fatsack?

Yes, said
Zoidberg, the universe is your oyster!

Scruffy turned the page
of his magazine to stare at the centerfold, scratching his nose.

Fry stared blankly for
a moment, then smiled. He saw, then pressed, the warp button.

I think Im gonna
take a shower.

And then they were
gone.

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