Futurama Porn Story: The Juicy Details EEF2 Chapter 1
(Special Thanks to: The Happy Little Elf’s. May they stay in my head forever.)
(Futurama opening credits. Caption: Co-Produced by Death, The life of the Party!)
The Dojo is small, but it serves its purpose.
Not traditional in any sense, its walls are a hard composite steel,
and a nylon mat lay on the floor. A hefty looking person walks onto the mat,
and holds his hands together in front of him. He wear’s a jet black kimono,
and stands perfectly still.
Leela steps onto the mat wearing a white kimono, and immediately
stands in a defensive posture. Her opponent moves into an offensive
posture and slowly edges forward. Leela slowly circles left and moves her
right hand up preparing for the attack. Her opponent rushes forward suddenly
bringing his arm up and around towards her head. She ducks down gracefully and
swings her leg forward, inches above the mat. Her leg strikes her opponent’s and
he quickly falls onto his back.
Leela Stands and places her hands on her hip.
LEELA: This is too easy.
She turns and heads toward the near wall. At the wall she waves her
hand in font of it and a small opening appears revealing a console.
She taps a few buttons and waves her hand again. As the opening
vanishes her hefty opponent fades away and a new one appears. A nine
foot tall Neptunian with a large nasty scar running from the top of his
forehead along his left cheek and down to his chin.
LEELA: Much better.
She steps onto the mat and the Large Neptunian immediately
charges attacking with a high round-house. Leela Ducks down and again
sweeps her leg forward, but the Neptunian hops backward deftly evading
the counter. Without hesitating Leela jumps up kicks her leg straight up,
connecting with the Neptunian’s face, back flips in mid-air, and lands.
(Think Guile from ‘Street Fighter’) The Neptunian grabs his face with
his upper arms and steps back. Leela charges forward and jumps, stretching
her leg forward. But the Neptunian recovers, and grabs her outstretched leg.
He pulls her in and brings his other arm forward hitting Leela square in the
face. She falls to the ground and rolls back to the edge of the mat.
She quickly stands and raises her defense. The Neptunian charges again
punching quickly. She blocks the punches and retaliates, hitting him hard in
the gut. Before He can recover she spins and plants a kick on the side of his
head. The Neptunian falls to the side rolling off the mat.
ROBOTIC VOICE: Point to Player 1.
Leela stands upright, hands on hips, a large grin on her face.
LEELA: (Thinking) Thats right. I’m the best!
She steps away and moves back into her starting position to signal that she
is ready for another bout. But before the match can begin, another person
fades into view.
AMY: What’cha doing Leela?
Oblivious Amy steps onto the mat, and another Neptunian appears in
front of her. The Neptunian immediately turns on Amy and charges her.
AMY: G’AAAAAH!!
Amy runs away towards Leela screaming curses in another language, the
Neptunian close behind. Leela turns and jumps off the mat, running to the console.
She quickly waves her hand and taps a few buttons when it appears. She turns
back to see Amy laying on the mat face up, with the Neptunian laying next to her.
The Neptunian has his head rested on his hand and is watching Amy.
NEPTUNIAN: So you free Saturday night?
AMY: (Enjoying Herself) Well, normally I would be, but I’m kinda taken.
Suddenly the Neptunian vanishes, and the dojo disappears. Leela and Amy
are now in a small room, everything is glowing with a faint green light, including
the two. Amy stands up and walks over to Leela.
AMY: That was a pretty aggressive Dating Service.
LEELA: It was an Octarian KungFu Training Program Amy.
I was practicing, what do you want?
AMY: Oh no, you dont! I cut my vacation short to talk to you and its been
over three months! You’re spillin’ the beans!
LEELA: (Sighs) Amy I told you before I’m not gonna talk about it!
Now stop bothering me!
Leela returns to the wall and taps a few buttons in the now visible console.
The dojo returns.
LEELA: You might want to step off the mat.
Amy quickly gets off the mat, obviously pissed that she is being ignored.
Leela taps a few more keys and the Neptunian re-appears.
The Neptunian turns to Amy.
NEPTUNIAN: Hey, Baby!
Leela angrily taps another button, and waves the console away.
The Neptunian immediately straightens and looks forward.
NEPTUNIAN: Emotion Simulator deactivated.
The match begins, and Amy watches for a few minutes, but soon gets bored.
She turns and looks over to wall where the console is and gets an idea. Smiling
mischievously she sneaks over to the console. She waves her hand and the console
appears. Quickly she removes the covering and starts pulling and switching wires.
She then puts the covering back and arrogantly taps a few buttons.
Leela had just finished upper-cutting the Neptunian when he suddenly vanishes.
Only to be replaced by Zapp Brannigan! Zapp advances on Leela.
ZAPP: Hey, my one-eyed Lovely, you want some Champaggen?
LEELA: (Horrified) AAAAAAGH!
Leela, screaming, closes her eye and attacks blindly. She kicks him in the gut,
then quickly jabs him in the jaw.
ZAPP: Hey could you do that again, only more sex-fully?
LEELA: Amy! Shut it off!
AMY: Do you promise?
Zapp is now holding her by the arm, Leela pushing his face away from hers.
LEELA: Yes! Fine! Anything just, shut it off!
Amy pulls the cover off and pulls out a wire, and Zapp vanishes. Leela opens
her eye and looks over to where Zapp was standing then darts her eye back and
forth to make sure he is really gone. Then she turns and storms over to Amy.
LEELA: Amy, that was just mean.
AMY: Im sorry, Leela. But I cant help it! I wanna know!
LEELA: Ugh. Fine. My place after work, ok?
AMY: Yes!
LEELA: Yer lucky Fry made plans with Bender for tonight.. ..
Suddenly the room fades out to reveal the two sitting in high-tech chairs
wearing Virtual helmets. Leela removes her helmet and looks around the room,
only to find Hermes next to the controls.
HERMES: ok, Leela, yer break is ova. We gotta lot a deleveries today, an
your gonna pilot dem all.
Amy looks around, the Virtual helmet still on her head.
AMY: (Cursing) What happened? Whered the room go?
LEELA: Dammit Amy, you wasted my break! How am I suppose to keep in shape
if you keep interrupting me?!
AMY: (Removing her Helmet) From what Fry tells me you two get all the exercise
youll ever need.
Leelas face turns a slight shade of red, and she storms out of the room.
The PE conference room. Fry, Bender, and Hermes sit at the table.
Leela and Amy walk in and sit, Amy next to Hermes, and Leela next to Fry.
Leela slaps Fry across the face as she sits.
FRY: Ow! What was that for?
LEELA: (To the Point) Something you said to Amy.
Leela then leans over and gives Fry a kiss on the cheek.
Frys eyes widen a bit and he smiles.
FRY: What was that for?
LEELA: It was for me. I had to recover from something else Amy did.
FRY: (Confused) Oh .. ..
HERMES: (Interrupting) Believe it or not. We av deliveries today. Lots of dem.
Ya should be busy for de rest of de day. Leela, Here is de list. Git started right away.
Hermes hands the clipboard to Amy, who tosses it over to Leela. Leela tries to catch it
but misses it, and it hits her in the forehead. She quickly picks it up and looks over at Amy
menacingly.
AMY: eep. Sorry Leela.
HERMES: Enough girl talk! Ya got loads a deliveries so in da ship and on ya way!
Outside the Planet Express the Ship lifts off and heads into space. Morning turns to day,
and day to night, and the Planet Express Ship returns landing roughly in the bay.
Leela exits with Fry behind. They both have globs of a strange bluish liquid soaked into their
cloths and are covered in dirt.
FRY: (Tired and Sarcastic) Nice Landing.
LEELA: (Tired and Annoyed) Shut up, Fry.
Bender exits the ship. He has multiple dents and scratches along his body.
BENDER: What the hell are you complaining about Meatbag?! Fry and I save your sorry
ass from those man eating guano plants! You should be thanking us for squishing them
to a pulp… And paying me fity bucks!
FRY: Yeah!
Leela turns to them, and places one hand on her hip. And holds her other in the air
counting off her points.
LEELA: (Quietly) One: They werent man eating.
Two: They were Peaceful.
Three: (Yelling) They were our clients!!
Hermes walks into the bay, and is going to say something but is interrupted as Amy rushes
into the Bay behind him. She slides to a stop just ahead of him.
AMY: (Looking at Leela) Yer back! (Turns to Hermes) That was the last delivery, right?
HERMES: Ahhh.. Yes it was..
AMY: Then the work days over, right?
HERMES: Ya.
AMY: Yes! Come on Leela!
LEELA: Uuugh…
Amy grabs Leelas hand and drags her out of the Bay. Fry and Bender look on confused.
FRY: What the? (Turning to Bender) Eh, whatever good thing I made plans with you tonight.
BENDER: What, Wha?! Sorry Meatbag, Im gonna go sneak into Calculons trailer, Ill be gone a few days.
Coulda swore I told ya.
FRY: Aww, crap.
Later.
Fry angrily walks down the streets of New New York, heading for the robot arms.
FRY: Stupid Bender. Now what Im I going to do? I cant go to Leelas…
(Pause) Stupid Amy. I cant go to the bar…
(Pause) Stupid Money. Maybe Ill just walk around a bit.
Fry looks up into the night sky as he walks. It is empty, the lights of the city drowning the
sky in a dullish dark blue. No stars can be seen anywhere.
FRY: Stupid city. (Sighs)
He continues to walk thinking to himself. Suddenly he stops and gets an idea.
FRY: Hey! I know, maybe I can go talk with Leelas parents…
(Pause) sheesh, I must really be getting desperate…
(Pause) I wonder if they like pizza…
Fry turns and heads off to a nearby Pizza Parlor. Soon, down in the sewers.
He walks up to Leelas parents house, and knocks on the door. There is a sound of movement
and the door opens. Munda stands in the doorway.
FRY: (Nervous) umm, Hi. I..
MUNDA: Oh I know you. Hey Morris! Its that nice young man from the surface!
MORRIS: What, that Nixon fellow?
MUNDA: No, no. The one that works with Leela.
MORRIS: Oh, the short flabby one.
MUNDA: Yeah, thats the one.
FRY: umm, Yeah. Anyway I didnt have anything else to do tonight so I brought
you guys some pizza.
MUNDA: Pizza? Well come in, come in!
Leelas Apartment. Leela sits on her bed with an angry look on her face,
and Amy is rolling around on the floor laughing. Amy gains control of herself and
sits up looking at Leela, giggles still bursting out, tears in her eyes.
AMY: A TV, and a chair?! In 3 years you couldnt buy anything else?!
LEELA: I didnt bring you here to poke fun at my apartment!
AMY: (Still Giggling) Sorry…
Amy slowly calms down and pulls herself up onto the bed and sits next to
Leela. Leela looks over at her, still angry. Amy grimaces and scoots a few feet
away from her.
AMY: Anyway,… So lets get started. I axed Fry, but I doubt his info is accurate.
He says that You fell madly in love with him when he heroically beat down a horde
of Evil Demonic Space Clowns. Im assuming thats not how it happened?
LEELA: Thats not even close. I dont even know how he got Space Clowns into it.
Actually the only aliens involved were the Omicronians, and even then it was indirectly.
Leela recounts the events that happened in Love &Rockets.
LEELA: After that I was just waiting for him to axe. But because of the whole divorce
thing he was backing off a bit.
Flash Back
Fry and Leela walk on the Bridge of the PE Ship.
Fry sits down in his chair, slumps back and stares out the window with a longing look
on his face. Leela Looks over a bit worried.
LEELA: Fry, you ok?
FRY: I guess.
LEELA: I know somethings bugging you. Whats wrong? You actually did alright today.
I thought youd be proud or something…
Fry turns and looks over at Leela. A very desperate look spreads across his face.
FRY: Look Leela, I know this annoys you to no end, but… I love you! Please give me
a chance! I can take you out to dinner or something, Ill behave I swear! Please just…
LEELA: Yes.
FRY: Wha?… (Pause ) Did you just say…
LEELA: Yes.
Without another word Leela walks over to Fry pulls him up out of the chair and
kisses him. They hold the kiss for what seems an eternity, but neither are willing to stop.
So they continue to hold each other, lips locked. Still in each others arms, Leela spies
Amy and Bender walking onto the bridge. They havent noticed yet as they are talking to each
other, or rather Amy is talking whilst Bender pulls the wallet from her back pocket.
Leela panics and pushes Fry off her, knocking him onto the floor, and causing Amy and
Bender to look over.
LEELA: Ugh! Fry I told you to leave me alone! Now get in your seat, were heading out!
She turns and sits into her chair determined not to reveal her emotions.
Fry sits on the floor stunned, and staring up at her. Slowly he stands brushing himself off.
He looks around at Amy and Bender, then back at Leela, confused.
FRY: What? But… Leela?! …
Leela stares straight ahead prepping the ship for lift off.
Fry gapes at her then storms off the bridge. Leela finishes the lifting sequence and the
ship takes off. She stares straight ahead to hide the tears in her eye.
Soon the PE ship lands home. Fry is still absent from the bridge. Leela, wipes
the tears from her face when no one is looking, then turns to Amy.
LEELA: Amy, Go give the report to Hermes.
AMY: Yesm.
LEELA: And Bender… I guess you can go watch TV.
BENDER: Not like I would have done anything else.
Leela watches as the two leave, and when theyre gone immediately heads off the bridge.
She rushes up to Fry and Benders quarters, and knocks on the door. There is no answer.
Leela slowly opens the door and steps in looking around. Fry isnt there, she steps out shutting
the door again. She looks around wondering if he got off the ship already when she spots
him coming out of the laundry room. She moves over to talk to him, but he sees her and
immediately turns to go back into the room. Leela hurries and catches him before he can.
She grabs his arm and pulls him close kissing him on the lips. Frys eyes widen and he wraps
his arms around her, as she does the same. They hold the kiss for a few minutes then slowly part.
Leela looks at Fry, still holding him close. Fry has a stupid grin on his face, but it slowly
fades replaced with confusion.
FRY: Your freaking me out… One minute your kissing me then your pushing me on the floor!
Then your kissing me again! I mean, you did say yes… right? I mean I wasnt dreaming that was I?
LEELA: Yes, Fry, I did. I just dont want to let them in on it yet.
FRY: You dont… uh, why?
LEELA: Because… (Annoyed ) Because I dont want them yammering on about it, alright!?
FRY: Well, ok but I still dont…
Frys sentence is cut short as Leela pulls him to the side and into the laundry room.
There is a loud clang as Fry slips and hits the far wall. Leela turns back and looks
around outside the room. Then she re-enters and closes the door behind her.
Outside the ship Amy is in the bay reading a Engineering Fashion Magazine and
sitting on a nearby crate. Suddenly she hears a noise. She gets up looking around for
the source. Its quiet, barely audible. Sort like a squeaking sound. She moves over to the source.
Its some where near the ship! She moves around the PE ship trying to pin point the source.
Soon she gets frustrated as she cant find it. She rushes over to the lockers and pulls out a few tools.
Back at the ship she removes a large panel from the side of the left rear Landing Foot.
She sticks her head in and starts pushing things around trying to find the source of the noise.
About half an hour later Leela walks out of the ship. She looks around and quickly straightens her hair
then turns to walk out of the bay. She sees Amy on the other end of the ship with a large assortment
of tools spread about the floor. Confused Leela walks over.
LEELA: Uh, Amy what are you doing? Ship maintenance isnt scheduled until tomorrow.
AMY: Something was wrong with the ships suspension. It kept squeakin like the ship was rockin
back and forth or something.
LEELA: (Embarrassed/ Panicky ) Errr… heh heh, really?…
AMY: Yeah. (She Stops Working) But its fine now. I musta fixed it.
LEELA: Uhh… yeah. Fixed it…
Flash Back
AMY: (Chinese/Martian Curses)! I cant believe you did it before you even had a first date!
LEELA: (Confused ) Why? You did it all the time.
AMY: Well yeah, but youre a tight wad! I always thought youd hold out or something!
LEELA: (Annoyed, Again ) Ill pretend I didnt hear that tight wad remark… Amy I havent
had the best luck with men. Fry is the first decent guy Ive been with, so you have to understand why
I was a little … excited about it. Besides I had a lot of conflicting emotions at the time…
AMY: K, so Fry grave you his oxygen risk his life for you. So you fell in love then?
LEELA: Well, no. I just opened up to the possibility. I knew he cared about me and that he
loved me, I just wasnt sure if I felt the same way.
Meanwhile in the Sewers.
Fry walks out of the rickety house and heads for home.
FRY: (Thinking) Wow. Thats the first time I wasnt thrown out of my
Girlfriends parents house. Kinda weird… (Pause )What a dull night…
Fry exits the sewers and heads off towards the Robot Arms again.
As he is walking he hears a noise in the alley across the street.
Looking around he heads over to check it out. The Alley is dark and dank
and he can barely see into it. Slowly he walks in looking carefully around for
what could have caused the noise. He doesnt see or hear anything else.
Looking around he shrugs and turns, heading back out of the Alley.
Just as he is about to exit the Alley a long black leathery arm emerges out of the shadows.
It wraps its long, obsidian-black, needle tipped, fingers around Frys arm and jerks
him back into the alley as if he were nothing more than a rag doll. There is a stifled
scream and then nothing…
Bum Bum BuUuUUummm! To be continued!